Floating flower
in the sky.
Kiss me with your
Petal wings---
READS . THAT GIRL . SPEAK . MEMORIES .
Saturday, November 26, 2005
17:52
i shall be skipping all boring parts tt i experienced at the airport (: just now tt it was a HORRIBLE wait at the bangkok airport for our transit (:
211105 monday 2136hrs
in the dorms alr after meeting the kids. one word: ADORABLE! im excited (: cant wait to see them tmr (: theyve got a cute black retriever and another yellow/beige female dog (: haha yup. the sky is just GORGEOUS siqin n cheryl saw a shooting star (: i want to see one too :D it's even nicer than in malacca (: rly lking forward to meeting the kids and i want to learn thai ! and if my olevels are over by the time this trip happens agn nxt yr, im coming no matter wht ! im lking forward to tmr (: i rly am (: im not lking forward to bathing tho, heh. i bet the water will FREEZE me to death. anyhoos, i love this place (:
2148hrs
221105 tuesday 1614hrs
oh today was just BEAUTIFUL :D got to knw the kids better (: i like the littlest one, nakarin, the intelligent one, somdet, the cheeky one, sompod, the attractively naughty one, somphong. somphong's RLY strong ! he's the "chief gardener" :D, the girl who loves singing [she sticks to zhang fan :D], the girl who tickles me (: aiyaa, theyre all adorable (: just bathed ! getting ready for mass. it's DAMN cold ! lkike bathing with ice water ! i rly wna come nxt yr ! the bigger ones will come later (: thn we'll play :D :D :D the yngr ones got the day off frm sch today (: the older ones still hv to go anw. ahh i love this place (: i dont want to leave here !
1617hrs
2141hrs
ahh :D we watched madagascar after mass which was in thai (: i read the 2nd reading. i dont want to leave here ): i shall cry on the last day ): I MUST COME NXT YR ! somdet likes me too (: he's so cute. he made beln i sit beside him just now :D n he made us 3 play games (: haha, he's so cute !!!! i love him ot pieces (: n i want to talk to somphong more ! (: yes yes (: thn after the movie i was rly tired n i rested my head on his and he leaned back on mine (: thn later he turned arnd n i leaned on his back (: thn he held my index fniger n laced his fingers with mine :D so cute. thn he tried to pluck the hairs on my fingers haha :D we went to the farm opposite today. there were pigs ! :D it stank ok.. there was a huge brown male pig with ENORMOUS testicles, a few pink female pigs and several littler pink pigs. there were lots of earthworms on the pathway to the pig's enclosure and wan chien was so traumatised tt she cried :D haha poor girl :D we gardened today ! it was qt tiring.. chunkol[sp?]-ing for a while gives u an achy back n achy fingers (: i got a puny blister haha we found many grasshoppers , a milipede, a frog and a half-chopped one (: haha yup. somphong's RLY gd at it. no wonder he's the "chief gardener" :D damn strong ! mr foo cldnt beat him at arm wrestling u knw ! haha n vatcharin's rly strong too (: later on we drew stuff and hung them up. the kids traced their hands out, wrote their names and decorated it (: we played catching and stuff and gave them sweets. theyre SO cute whn they thank u (: n they like taking photos (: as in go arnd with the camera taking stuff (: but they dont mind being the subject either (: oh n before bathing today, we [wanchien yimin karen n i as well as somphong, basketball guy, 2 n thai girls] played basketball, yup. somphong plays well (: n so does basketball guy (: thn bel was telling somdet tt he was lor [handsome] n somdet was SO cute ! :D :D :D he goes "mai lor.. mai lor..", waving his hand in dismissal before pointing to bel n saying "ni lor..." :D haha ((: thn they say he's naa-rak [cute] and he says "mai.." and does the same thg :D pointing to bel and saying "ni naa-rak.." CUTE ((: mass was in thai n i nvr felt more lost during mass, haha somphong's damn cute also (: he says thank you haha and he cleared up after lunch today ? the girls usually do tt. he also rinsed the dishes beforepassing it to be washed. the guys usually just put the plates by the sink n go off. i'll be SO sad whn we leave ): I DONT WANT TO LEAVE ! ): oh well, we're gg to their sch tmr cos it's their sports day :D yay :D i dont want to leave here ): i love everyth here right dwn to the icy cold water with which we bathe !
2203hrs
231105 wednesday 1203hrs
hey (: just came back frm their sch for lunch (: we'll be back later :D yay :D today is another gorgeous day (: we went there n saw their march past (: theyve got this boy running with a torch later on like in the olympics :D n they had like cannons too :D which was pretty cool (: lil kids danced :D [guys included! they wore plastic bags strung tgt to make a skirt, haha..] it was qt cold thn but the poor kids were like in spaghetti straps ? they were so cold ! poor babies] somdet came arnd (: [my love ! :D] he asked me to sit nxt to him (: thn he gave me a turnip to eat :D oh ya, tt basketball guy [i havent found out his name yet..] came in 4th for their 5km mini marathon :D cool eh :D another guy frm the mission home came in 3rd (: anw, i found a hairclip on the grasss n somdet pinned it on me ((: thn he put the cap he had on on me :D thn he bought ice kachang for me too (: i love tt lil guy to pieces (: there was a soccer match n somphong was goalie (: he was grt but the other team won on one free kick n a goal. thn we sat arnd n ate turnips haha.. n chayanit gave me some kueh too (: oh n somdet gave me a cup of ice water too (: sweetheart. [it was getting warm cos the sun was up] felt so bad tt they were serving us n everythg.. heh.. n the big boy who was making the kite ytf asked somdet for my name haha. anw, rly lking forward to gg back to sch later (: the ride there in the pick-up's rly nice cos it's windy (: man, i rly love this place n i dread the day i return..
1212hrs
2052hrs
I LOST THE HAIR CLIP ! ))))): but i took a photo of it.. we didnt go back to sch cos the yngr ones came back (: im loving xsomdet more than evr. the thot tt tmr is our last night here just tears my heart apart.. i rly dont want to leave.. ): ): ): ): we didnt hv mass today.. we had dinner straight (: ate with somdet and we played after tt (: and well, apparently the kite guy likes me :D oh gee ((blushes)) hahaha.. n tt basketball guy ? [oops, forgot to ask for his name agn..] he asked me for my name n my age n talk talk talk to the kite guy n thai like saying "can laa, can laa" kinda thg ?! n tt naughty somdet ! :D he kept pushing me to the kite guy n whn i sat rly close to somdet [i alwys do cos i love him to bits n pieces] he called the kite guy n made tt smirk n talk talk talk to him in thai :D i want to udstd wht he's saying ! haha.. aiyo.. n somphong can speak some madarin :D he can say chi fan n ni hao :D haha i taught him hao, bu hao, wo n ni (: oh oh n he can count to ten in mandarin with some help :D im rly sad to leave on fri )': im gna cry.. i can feel it alr )': anw, we played cat n mouse (: yup n kite guy made me chase him ! idiot :D somdet kept asking him to do it n the other guys were also asking him too but i didnt expect tt he wld :D haha n the others cheered extra loud whn he did laa, TSK :D just talked to mum. nearly cried whn i said i didnt want to leave.. anw, we played marco polo as well (: n we played jacob's ladder (: somdet was my partner, of course (: think they enjoyed cat n mouse n jacob's ladder most (: haha. oh well. will try not to let my sadness ruin my mood.. somphong can speak some eng too (: whn some guy clung on to somdet in a sort of fight, i asked somphong to separate them (: theyre gd kids here. like brothers and sisters. altho the boys like to play fight [they are boys after all..] they still love each other lots. sompod is damn cheeky :D damn cute. bel n i played hide-n -seek with somdet in the afternoon (: bel taught him my name while they searched for me (: we played with the erasers and one-leg-hop (: thn the other guys started throwing the erases at us, ouch. haha thn i grabbed the bag of erasers and got CHASED, TICKLED and SCRATCHED haha.. n nakarin stuck onto karen like glue (: damn cute (: they called him spongebob cos he wears spongebob t-shirts :D haha thn at night i pulled somdet arnd the hall n he slid arnd in his socks (: oh n i gave somdet a plaster for a blister on his foor after the one bel gave him dropped off, [i figured tt it'd drop off after his bath] he didnt want another after his bath tho n he asked me to give it to his frd (: wht a sweetheart. his frd had a graze on his knee. put some cream on the plaster n pasted it on for his frd n whn his frd didnt thank me, he scolded him.. haha so cute (: i rly love him ! i rly do ! n he gave me an apple fruit plus (: he pressed it into my palm (: somphong let me put on his muay thai thg for the head [a white rope thg] n take a photo with chayanit (: thn he put it on n took 2 photos with me (: i want tmr to come but i'll be damn sad as well.. oh, we're gg to mount phu chi fa tmr to see the sunrise n we hv to wake up at 3 ! so gotta slp now (:
2131hrs
(didnt write on thurs.. was too tired n upset..)
251105 friday 1545hrs
right. so im on the plane to bangkok now.. last night was terrible n lovely at the same time. cired like buckets n buckets. i think i was the first to cry. ok i was. anw, we woke at 3 in the morning n set off for mt phu chi fa. the cold water woke me up. was terribly cold out there. had a cup of sth before setting off. got there, climbed up up up [tiring..] and waited for qt a while before the sun appeared (: the scenery was SO beautiful.. there were stars in the darkness at the back and the sun coming up frm a distance turned the sky a rainbow colour. imagine a horizontal piece of rainbow before u in a sea of navy blue. took qt a few photos. was feeling qt moody the whole day tho.. we went back for breakfast. thn we set off for a park just by the mekong river. we saw almost palm sized puppies n a rather small grey cat. the sand by the river was SO fine n nice n glittery (: wqas qt nice except, well, my mood was spoiling thgs a lil. it's like u think abt stuffs a lot n before u can think of tt painful thg u just shut everythg out n stop thinking abt anythg at all.. thn we went back for lunch. sister bought ice cream (: so sweet of her (: n we went to a nearby village. wanted to go back so much cos somdet n the others wldve been back alr. we finally went back n [sigh.. i feel n ache in my heart agn..] sat with somdet for a while. he wldnt talk n was very quiet n moody in the morning, refusing to lk at or speak to anyone. he wldnt let anyone but bel n i to touch him either. felt damn sad n sneaked a few drops of tears. ran back to the dorm to gettissue paper. later on, before dinner, he was slumped on the tables just outside the hall with his jacket on n the hood over his head. he wldnt talk to anyone. thn i patted his back n asked if he was ok. he said he had a stomachache cos he was hungry. however, i cld tell tt it wasnt so. i cld feel a sort of sadness radiating frm him. he ate qt lil during dinner [so did i, no appetite ):] n i'd put my jacket arnd him before dinner cos he was cold. his hands were also rly cold cos he just bathed so i held his hands to warm them. his frds kept trying to pull me away frm him and kept talking to him, saying tt he was sissy n stuff, needing me to warm his hand. felt so sad tt they had to do this to him but i wldnt budge. sister gave us muffins after dinner [on top of the oranges we hv every dinner] somdet went to get one for me (: i hadnt even finished wht i had on my plate but i cldnt bear to refues the offer so i took it mrs gurung n her mum noticed tt he was qt moody n asked me wht was wrong. i told him tt he'd said tt he had a tummy ache. mrs gurung asked bel to tell sister abt it. whn sister asked if he was unwell, he said he wasnt. after dinner, we went back to the hall n i sat with him. after a few rounds of scissors-paper-stone, he had to change into his outfit for the night's performance. before tt, in the afternoon, everytime we practiced our item, i cld hardly stop myself frm crying everytime we sang the part " i wna wish you a merry christmas frm the bottom of my heart" in feliz navidad. i alwys choked on "heart". my heart ached super badly. thn we put on our tinsel halos in the dorm n went out to the hall. the kids lked beautiful n their outift (: they all went jingle jangle n all the beads went "click" as they swished agnst each other. somdet was in my jacket initially so i cldnt see his outfit but later he revealed a very intricate piece with strings of green beads hanging frm a black vest (: he lked so cute i wanted to hold him in my arms n squeeze him tight. the lil kids danced a very cute dance first [we all laughed n cooed n cheered at their ultimate cuteness (:] thn the older girls danced a very graceful dance and thn the boys acted silly :D they put up a very umm skit :D n they had sacks with silly drawings and holes cut out for their eyes over their heads and they danced to the ketchup song :D they lso had their jackets n shorts worn low to "conceal" their identities :D sister n the cooks n stuff were supposed to guess who was who (: thn i t was our item :D during which i was so embarrassed tt my ears burned :D didnt cry cos all the laughing n smiling n embarrassment stopped the tears (: thn they turned off the lights n turned on the ketchup song agn n we all had to dance to it (: of course i held on to somdet's hand. held them frm the back so tt i'd be enveloping him. thn he made me go to the corner, stop n wait for a while. felt a lil nervous cos charoen [kite guy] wasnt arnd. soon, charoen appeared with a flashlight, hahaha, n they all started making silly noises n dancing arnd more :D thn don [basketball guy] asked me to dance with charoen n i wldnt :D haha.. i was starting to cry alr heh thn somdet didnt want to dance anymore [i think he's a lot like me] and led me away i started crying a lot. cldnt help it, heart ached like shit :/ hugged somdet n he hugged me back. he put his arms arnd me n stroked my hair n my face. he's only eight ! he asked me not to cry by drawing a line dwn his face frm his eye n shaking his head.. it only made me want to cry more but i smiled n wiped my tears which were falling fast. i felt like shit cos i rly didnt want to leave him. the music stopped n we sat on the bench we'd brought in for our item. i hugged him n he buried his head in the crevice between my neck, shoulder n chest. i leaned my head on his n teared. thn i lked at him n saw tt he was tearing n my heart broke. i wiped his tears away n shook my head. he frowned n lked a lil pained. everyone started crying. i hugged somdet n cried somemore. i rly hated the thot of not being with him. we gave them wht we wanted to give n cried more. thn we sat dwn, sticking to each other in silence. i'd wrapped my jacket arnd him cos he was cold agn thn the sad sad part came. sister, the cook n the kids came up one by one to thank us n stuff ON THEIR KNEES ! )': so we all kneeled too n cried super hard whn sister kneeled n hugged mrs gurung's mum. thn slowly tey came up. the older ones told us "mai long hai!" [dont cry] we hugged the girls n shook hands with the boys. somdet came up first n told me not to cry. hugged him extra long n cried. we thanked them one by one as they came too, in the way i like (: thn charoen came. he thanked me, said see you agn nxt yr, n did the hmm how do i describe ? u knw whn u play pepsicola thg tt u hv to hold the other person's thumb dwn to win ? yup he did tt thg except it's to let ur fungers slide across each other. haha dont knw wht funny thg. made me smile as my eyes glistened with tears. thn somphong came, smiling, n told me "mai long hai!" i smiled too n nodded. thn don came, thanked me n said "see you agn nxt yr" too. i nodded my head, smiling. supani came last n i cried the most while hugging her cos she's like the da jie n stuffs (: she's damn nice. we exchanged email addresses n took photos with my 2 favourite [somphong n somdet] thn just sat there with my baby. oh n somphong pressed a kopi-o candy into my palm before the items smiling his smile (: charoen gave me his autograph bk to write in n another bk to write my address n stuff in. thn i sat there stuck to somdet n leaned my face near his. i gave him my nametag (: thn he wanted me to eat the muffin he gave him. i fed him one mouth. thn we sat there somemore. i leaned my face on his shoulder. thn they gathered n sang songs for us. made us all cry agn.. n somphong was rly cute ((: he was so cheerful, swaying to the music, singing rly loudly n pretedning to play a guitar :D my tears were falling fast but i smiled, lking at him. he lked at me too n did his raise-eyebrow-cheeky-smile thg (: i liked at him in a sideway stare smiling n laughed :D he laughed too n sang even louder (: don had sunglasses on n charoen had his hood on haha. somdet kept staring at the ground, his lips moving frm time to time. thn at abt 11+, we went back. held somdet's hand while they queued to go back to the dorms. somdet had 2 jackets on, mine n his, cos he was so cld, tt darling [i was freezing too but it didnt matter] this morning, we woke up early to send the children off to sch. somdet wore my jacket inside n his outside n he lked so terribly cute cos my jacket was rly big for him n it stuck out at the bottom (: took his cold hand n walked with him to queue to go to the hall. he asked me to close my eyes. i did n he pressed a heart-shaped chocolate into my palm. i smiled n he smiled slightly too. there was this deep dull ache in my heart. i cldnt bear to let go of his hand. thn they went to sit on the bench on the other side where the pick-up wld come to pick them up. gave somphong n somdet the letters i wrote to them. they thanked me in the way i love. somdet fingered his while somphong went to another table with his frds n opened it up. he was smiling all the way (: i stole a few drops off tears. i eavesdropped on sister's translations of the letters frm us to the kids n teared somemore. n whn they lined up to wait got their pick-up, i held on to somdet's hand, secretly wishing tt i cld stay on forevr n wld nvr hv to leave my beloveds back there. he wanted to return me my jacket but i told him tt i wanted to give it to him. he nodded n smiled slightly. baby, i wld give u everythg i had if i cld. so tt's wht true love is. it's giving everythg u hv w/o reason or conditions. i used to think tt there wasnt such a thg as unconditional love but now i see. there is such a thg as unconditional love. their pick-up came n i fought back my tears. i took one last shot of somdet lking away n whn they climbed into the pick-up, tt silly darling somphong was smiling (: they were all in their boy n girl scouts uniform (: sompod had a way cool hat [like a cowboy's] and don n another guy had a maroon beret on. somphong lked qt smart (: i smiled back too and as the pick-up left n the kids all waved, i let the tears all n a sharp pain seared through me. i cld see somphong n somdet so clearly. i waved n bit my lip, the pain in my heart almost unbearable. somphong was smiling n waving, somdet was waving, not smiling but with a determined lk on his face. his lips were pressed tgt, his eyes telling me not to cry, telling me tt it'll be ok. thn the bigger ones came. i passed charoen his book n he thanked me.they left, we had breakfast n we set off for big c. bought an eng-thai dictionary and a bk on thai for travellers. my new yr resolution is to learn thai so tt i can speak with my darlings nxt yr n write lots of letters to them (: im missing them lots now. somdet, i miss you so much. somphong, wait for me (: i'll see you guys real soon.