Floating flower
in the sky.
Kiss me with your
Petal wings---
READS . THAT GIRL . SPEAK . MEMORIES .
Saturday, August 06, 2005
10:35
today started out like it was gg to be one of the worst days in my entire life. thn, thgs started to fall into place one by one, slowly but surely and im rly rly thankful for tt (: first of all, i found those handphone chains. tt put the first smile on my face for the entire day. truth be told, i was in the lowest mood evr. i'd come to sch with a heavy hard n dreaded every step i took towards the sch building. it began ystd whn i realised i was rly in some shit with my conducting. miss sia suddenlymade everythg so complicated n everythg i had evr done seemed wrong. i was totally bummed out. thankfully, there was xinru who lightened my heart a little (: wht beauty friends are (: wht wld i be w/o them? i dont even want to think abt it. everyth spilled over to today. i was stressed out. TOTALLY. i had to conduct the band in front of the presbyterian high band n miss sia had just deflated me of any confidence at all. i nvr felt so lacking in my entire life. NVR. like i was the most useless thg evr created. i teared while we sand the national anthem cos i was thinking abt how i wld be conducting presbyterian high n our sch tt very aftrnn. i dont knw why. i just cldnt help it (: wht a weakling. thn lsns came. i was listless.. cldnt find the mood to pay attn or even listen at all.. cried a bit too. didnt help tt amelia wasnt there :/ no it's not ur fault darl (: sweetened my day tt u came arnd to leave tt packet of sweets (: i just had to be out of class whn u came huh ? (: i saw soh teng lk over to me a few times out of the corner of my eye n i cld tell she sensed sth wrong with me. she eventually asked if i was ok (: aww. i told her i was. recess came n went.. im now in some rubbish chem speech competition n we've got 2 wks to prepare. YAY im jubilated. thn the time to conducting came sooner n sooner.. the pressure mounted higher n higher. thn i told soh teng i cried. thn she told cheryl i cried. n they told cherie i cried. thn cherie over n was rly sweet. n i cried. haha.. :D i was like "dont i'll start agn!" n i did :D thn cherie told nat i cried. she came over, asked evr so sweetly if i was ok n it started agn. ERR. heh.. sorry. the taps activate very quickly whn im touched n sweetened (: thn we took these rly crazy photos n i smiled (: HAHA ah lian poses ;) gen ching cherie nat sohteng n cheryl were rly supportive n sweet (: aww.. i was rly encouraged but still kinda worried.. yupp. but they make me smile laa (: i declare them wholesome sweetness (: n of course not forgetting amelia (: who so kindly dropped by with sweets before her sports trip (: i got all worried agn whn i went to the band rm n they told me presbyterian high was here alr.. the taps started AGN. i was like "((moans)) oh no.." thn the tears came. oh man i felt so stupid ok. but i was seriously scared also laa.. but yay everyone was nice (: the band was very supportive (: im so touched. the rehearsal wasnt as bad as the paranoid me had thot it out to be. n they were all sweet (: mr wong took the combined band for national anthem once thn they wanted me to do it nxt. my heart fluttered like a butterfly n landed like tt butterfly died ok. but i had to lk confident n stuffs. it wasnt tt bad at all (: in fact i knida like it (: yup. haha. im alwys paranoid n stressed laa. i rly need to relax more (: well, hopefully everythg goes fine on national day !