Floating flower
in the sky.
Kiss me with your
Petal wings---
READS . THAT GIRL . SPEAK . MEMORIES .
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
13:15
the long wkends were nice (: but i wish there was more (: met roderick at church on saturday. he was sitting right behind me coincidentally (: yes, a sense of security is like a nice, big and warm jacket (: walking past the value dollar shop seriously made me smile (: haha. milk run on sunday.. ahh. i met amelia whn i got there (: we ran arnd and got popsicles :D we got eight in all :D haha. we gave them away n had two btwn us in the end :D n i like those toilets :D theyve got an interesting tap system :D like a leg operated udder :D amelia squirted the sticky syrup onto some guys whn she tried to break one in half :D it was half melted laa haha and the guys scattered so weirdly :D there were rock bands blasting away. thn there was sn with our hip hop n cheer routine :D whn the rock bands played we simply refused to like clap our whtevr whn they asked us to :D but we shrieked and screamed and made a lot of noise whn sn's performancers came on :D like gen said, if he rock band ppl were frm sn, we'd scream too :D my legs hurt after tt WALK (: but theyre ok now. it was qt dumb. i'd wanted to give roderick some flowers i'd picked hahaha but it was scorching n they died so he didnt get those :D i saw shihui :D she was so cute, as usual (: with her yellow pompom haha. i saw at first n i shouted out to her thn she gave this puzzled lk like she was trying to put a name to my face (: thn a smile burst across her face n she said, "all the way!" haha so cute (: she called out to me whn we went back (: must rmb to call her for our starbucks thg (:
today's the one month anniversary of the passing of my granma (: here's the eulogy my sis read out on tt day.
"As honoured as I am to write this eulogy for mamma, I feel inadequate; my 20 years is a short time compared to that of my dad, uncles and aunties who have known mamma all their lives. More importantly, how can anybody encapsulate memories of one so loving, so forgiving, so adorable and so cheerful in these few minutes well enough to do her justice? This is my attempt...
Lau Hok Hoong, mamma, was born in 1924. She married Yao Hong Fun, Philip, my grandfather at the age of 23. With this marriage, she embraced Catholicism with all her heart and was christened with the name, Theresa. At age 40, she was widowed as her husband passed away due to kidney failure and thus became the matriarch to a family of 10 children, the youngest being just a year old.
In her years of bringing up 2 handfuls of children, she never once raised her voice, much less use the cane on them. Her nagging is, however, fondly remembered by all her children. She was a wonderful mother, just as she was a wonderful father. When her husband passed away, she strove to be both father and mother to her 10 children. er gu recounted this lovely incident to me: When xiao shu was a little boy, he wanted to take the train very much, but being poor then, the family could not afford trips or holidays. Mamma, nonetheless, brought him to the train station at Keppel Road and bought return train tickets to JB. They took the train and back, just so xiao shu could experience a train ride. The family may be poor, but always rich in spirits, laughter and experiences.
Just as she was a wonderful mother, so was she a wonderful grandmother. Mamma remembered all the birthdates of her 18 grandchildren; she never forgot any of our birthdays, year in, year out. In fact, she once rattled off to me the birthdates of my cousins and siblings in chronological order, from January to December, with impressive fluency and a huge touch of pride of her grandchildren. Yet, it is not the prompt birthday ang paos from her that we will miss, but the mouth-watering neng pia, muah chee, ngou hiang and soon kueh that she made, and above all else, we will miss her. Less than 2 months ago, she took a cab down by herself to our place in Bishan to deliver neng pia that she made, just as she had always been from time to time. We will miss her jovial chuckles, smiling eyes and cheerful disposition. We will miss her.
Every CNY eve, the entire family (35 of us in full force) would gather in the tiny 4-room flat in BLK 175 which we’ve had since decades ago for reunion dinner. I would have at least 3 servings of mamma's diabetic-ally sweet yam/ sweet potato soup and 2 servings of fish ball/ cabbage soup. Ang pao distribution by mamma would follow after dinner; we would line up behind each other, in decreasing order of "seniority"; first the parents (according to "rank"), then the children (according to age). The next morning, we'd wish mamma "xin jia zhu yi" and receive in return her smiling eyes and adorable hearty chuckles. I thank her for etching such beautiful memories in our minds.
I am often told that mamma is very proud of us, her grandchildren. I always reply, we are proud of her as well, and rightly so. Among other admirable traits mamma possesses, I think these are what we remember her best for.
Firstly, she never fails to maintain her strong personality and jolly outlook on life.
2 weeks ago, when ting ting and I accompanied her overnight in the hospital, she woke up at about 4am and decided to stay up to tell us one of her animated tales of bringing up our uncles and aunties. When I told her to lower her volume because our story-telling session was disturbing the lady next to us, she said, tongue in cheek, "wo men zai kai hui", and laughed. Mamma was so cheerful even when she was in pain.
Just last week, when mamma's condition deteriorated, she likened her wheezing to a kitten meowing in her. She even described the water gurgling in the breathing apparatus by the bed as "singing". The day after mamma suffered a stroke, she was unable to speak or move the right side of her body but that didn’t stop her from enjoying the hymns that were sung to her; she was tapping the fingers on her left hand to the beats of the songs, evidently enjoying herself. She might have been weak in body but still very strong in spirit, as she had always been, till her life on earth ended 4 days ago.
Secondly, her faith in God constantly puts me in awe.
Despite the challenges life threw her over the years, mamma's faith in God never faltered. 8 years ago, er bo, mamma’s 3rd child, passed away after years of battling with cancer. Yet, she accepted this as God's will with much grace and peace of mind.
About a month ago, er gu arranged for Father Jacob Ong to conduct the "Anointing of the Sick" for mamma. When asked if she had any special intentions to offer up to God, instead of asking to be healed or for more time on earth, mamma asked for God's will to be done, not hers. These words were not part of a brave front but further testament to her amazing ability to submit herself to God wholeheartedly.
These mentioned memories are but a tiny drop in the ocean. All in all, mamma's life spelt a message of love. Jesus said: My commandment is this: Love one another as I have loved you [John 15:12]. Mamma had been such a faithful follower of this command and it is hence a legacy that we, as her children and grandchildren, will have to carry on. It is Jesus', as well as mamma's, commandment to us. Her illness ended her life on earth, but she would not want her illness to disrupt our lives as well. Therefore, we have to be strong, as she was in her days, and allow life to go on after her passing, as she would have wanted us to.
Mamma's obituary on The Straits Times wrote that she passed away, "leaving behind loved ones." I'd like to clarify here today that she has not left us behind; she is in fact very much with us, right here right now, in our minds and in our hearts, and it is where she remains as long as we allow her to. On this note, I end with a poem by Henry Scott Holland, All is Well.
All Is Well Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household world that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner. All is well.
By Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918) Canon of St Paul's Cathedral"
pretty aint it ? my granma was a beautiful person (: just one word to describe it all (: she nvr gossiped, nvr spoke ill of ppl. only praises (: she was so close to God. alwys praying and alwys hoping we'd grow closer to God (: alwys wanting us to stay close as a family (: now my extended family n i go for mass together (: after tt we troop into tt four-room flat and talk and laugh (: im sure my granma is happy and contented up there (: so im rly happy for her (: i am lking forward to my turn (: heh.